The Shy Crutch

I grew up a painfully shy kid. I had a horrible self-image and felt very inadequate compared to my vibrant, outgoing older sister. During school I would practically hyperventilate every time the teacher called my name. In college I let the English major crazies do the talking for me....believe me they did fine without my input. I used shyness as my ticket out of things. Saying things like "I can't sing in front of church, I'm too shy" or "I don't want to apply for that job, I'm too shy". I never once consulted the Lord and asked for his opinion. Over the last few years as I've grown in my relationship with the Lord I'm going to expose this for what it is - a crutch, the shy crutch. I leaned on this crutch for so many years I believed it to actually be true....it wasn't. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power, a spirit of love, and a spirit of self-discipline. II Timothy 1:7

My journey out of shyness began with self-discipline. I devoted myself to learning about my Savior. I set aside time nearly everyday to learn more about how to follow Him and walk with him. Slowly with this discipline came love for myself. I began to see redeeming qualities in myself that others could see but I couldn't because I was blinded by my self-loathing. The next step was power. I have such an awesome power in the Lord now...I am God confident. This is something I can hardly explain but feel full to the point of overflowing just thinking about it. This is participating in the divine nature. This is awesome.

I can't help but think of the missed opportunities in my life due to my "shyness". Hiding behind shyness is not from the Lord...and if it's not from Him....it's from Satan. I'm definitely still reserved, I don't necessarily like to be the center of attention, but if the Lord calls for it...I am there. Even this blog was a stretch for me but I felt a nudging from the Lord and believe me I'm going to answer that nudge. So don't call me shy we don't use that word in our house.