Wednesday, June 6, 2012

First Impression

We have some new neighbors moving in next door.  And we heard from our old neighbors, Karen and Jim, that the newbie's are really excited to meet us because they think we'll be friends.  Apparently they've seen us out and about.  Which is quite frankly, a little scary.  Not scary as in, they're spying on us but scary as in, what were we doing when they were observing us? 

There's about a 90% chance it involved some, if not all, of these things....sweatpants, non-brushed hair, fighting children, yelling mom, crying and more crying.  But, then again, if they were looking forward to meeting us maybe we were having one of those rare and wonderful days where everything is going great.

So I had been kind of excited about meeting our potential new friends....but on my terms.  You know, the whole neighborly bringing over cookies and having myself, husband and kids all shiny and polished up and on our best behavior. But, nothing quite turns out like you have pictured in your mind, does it?

Setting the scene:


We had just gotten home from the pool.

Brianna was hungry and fussing.

I quickly pulled my swim top off and threw on a T-shirt (only by the grace of God, because I had briefly considered just nursing without a shirt on.)

Turned on the bath water for the girls.

Told them to get in the bath.

They didn't obey so I told them again....very loudly.

I sat down on the couch to nurse Bri.

The doorbell rang.

Uh. Oh.


"Austyn, see who's at the door,"  I said, praying that it was the neighbor kids.  Not only was I nursing, I didn't have a blanket in sight to throw over me.  Plus, I was sitting in plain view of all the windows so whoever was at the door probably got the pleasure of seeing Bri latch on. 

Austyn, who had her swimsuit down around her waist, went to the door.  And she just stood there staring through the glass. "Well, Aussie who is it?"  Nothing.  Just staring and standing there in all her naked glory.

Oh, geez, she doesn't recognize whoever it is...I have to stop nursing and get the door.  Bri is going to freak.  Who the heck is it?!  Probably the Schwan's man, he always comes at the most inconvenient times...

"Hi," I said. Hmmm...she's a cute girl who looks like she's never had a bad hair day. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap this must be our new neighbor! My house is a mess!  Did she hear me yelling at the girls?  Oh, no!  Did she see my boobs?

"Hi, I'm Janie, we are moving in next door and I saw you guys just got home so I wanted to come and introduce myself."

Janie's Got a Gun, da da da da da...Karen said the new neighbors were "our age," she's totally still in her twenties.  Early to mid twenties for sure.  And shoot, I am still wearing my swim skirt!  It's so uncool. She going to think I'm so uncool.  Hopefully she'll put two and two together...I just had a baby, do you see that's why I had to wear a swim skirt!  Please see that!  Oh my cellulite is so out of control.  Is she looking at it?

"Hi, I'm Tami, been looking forward to meeting you!"  I said with a little too much enthusiasm.  Why did I choose not to wear makeup today?  I didn't even give myself a fighting chance.

"She must be hungry." 

"What?  Oh ya, she is."  ...oh ya, I have a baby in my arms and she's crying.  I better look like I'm a concerned mother.  Wish I wouldn't have put the ugly outfit on her today.  I need to do laundry.  She knew I was nursing, she totally saw my boobs.

"So you have three girls, right?" 

"Yep, do you guys have any kids?" Karen already said that they don't so why did I ask? 

"No, not yet, but we want to!"

Don't do it!  Your lives will be over!  Enjoy your freedom!

"...Ya, they're a lot of fun.  So, where are you guys moving from?"  She's just so cute and would be fun if we did become friends.


We can never be friends.  Darn Wildcats.

We had a few more minutes of chit chat.  And I closed the door, sat down to finish nursing my bawling baby and went over our first meeting.  And this was my conclusive thought.

With all the nakedness, messiness, crying and yelling, she definitely thinks we're white trash.

When talking to Eric later that evening I relayed how the scene and conversation played out.  And the first words out of his mouth were,

"So, she thinks we're white trash."


So much for a good first impression.


Kimberlee said...

Well, don't worry, they haven't met us yet. And we're WAY trashier. And whiter.

Suebhoney said...

Laughing so hard right now! You are SO not white trash! Cellulite, HA!, in your dreams Tami. If it was me in your position, G would have been outside peeing in the front yard. His timing is always perfect. Ha! Besides, she waited for a perfect time to come over. She figured she'd catch you off guard, instead of you catching her off guard! :)

Malinda said...

Oh my! I am laughing so hard!

darnly said...

What a riot!! You are so funny and I needed a good laugh today.
Now, take the crazy cookies over and say something about "Let's try this again..."
Someday you need to show this to her and ask her what she was thinking...really thinking.
Thanks for making my day.

Anonymous said...

Loved this post. It totally made my bad day a whole lot better!

Jessica K said... that's why you were asking about the nursing covers!!! HAHAHAHA! You are awesome Tami! Sounds like a day in the life of the Kings too. One day we had a window salesman at our dining room table and my daughter pooped in the middle of the living room right in his sight. Classic.

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