Life of a Mom

Rylie was pushing me to my limit today....and I mean to my limit. I remember having a speaker in MOPS that said one day she told her kids that she was changing her name. She would no longer answer to "mommy." Then she wouldn't answer her kids when they called because they didn't know, nor would she tell them, the name she was going by that day. At the time I remember thinking it was funny but wondered "why would she do this?" Okay, now I know. I have never been so annoyed by the word "mommy" before in my life.

"Mommy I need a snack, mommy I need to go potty, mommy sit here, mommy do this, mommy do that." Arrrrggg! So I was cleaning up the kitchen today after our snack time and Ry was really getting under my skin. I asked her to do her job which is unloading the silverware out of the dishwasher. She whined about this and demanded for Austyn to help her. By the way, if you ever eat at our house our silverware has been handled and played with and licked by two different people before it actually makes it in the drawer. Just sayin...you may want to request a quick wash before you dig in. After finally finishing her job she just started getting into everything! I could feel my temperature rising and it finally erupted when she climbed on the counter and started flipping the garbage disposal on and off.

I dramatically slammed my fist down on the counter and said "Rylie why must you irritate the crap out of me? Why are you not listening to anything I say...you keep disobeying me and whining and throwing fits. What is wrong with you!?"
"I don't know," she said and then started crying because of my outburst.
I hate when I lose control like this but sometimes I feel like I have no choice but to lose it before I get her attention. So I said, "let's just go sit down and talk for a minute."
I sat on the chair and put her on my lap and said "Why do you keep disobeying me Rylie?"
"I don't want you to clean anymore."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Just play with me."
Oh brother, okay I'm officially the worst mom in the world. I clean my house instead of play with my child. Of course I feel bad about this, I apologize to her for losing my temper and then play with her for the next 45 minutes. I hate being the anal person I am. Why can't I let the dishes sit for a few minutes? I know why, because they'll still be waiting for me when I'm done. They have to get done....things have to get done. What's a mom supposed to do? How can I be everything for everyone? Is being a mom not the hardest job in the whole wide world???