Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The American....so American

When I was growing up I wasn't allowed to watch rated "R" movies. My sister and I were once caught watching Braveheart and spent the entire next day chopping musk thistles in the pasture. I'm sure this worked out well for my dad because he didn't have to do it himself. He was nice enough to hire a guy to help us though. We later found out he was fresh off a prison term for statutory rape. Clearly watching movies rated R is the worse offense.

Actually I still follow this rule fairly closely in my home today. Besides the occasional shoot 'em up thriller or Braveheart type movie (sorry dad) we don't watch many movies past the PG-13 rating. Garbage in garbage out, right? I recently refreshed my memory of exactly why we don't do this. Two words. The American.

Eric and I decided on a date night of dinner and a movie the other day. We probably have the typical guy/girl types of movies we like. He was in the mood for something with action and of course I always go for the romantic comedy. So I took one for the team the other night and we decided to see the supposedly action packed The American. George Clooney had absolutely nothing to do with me being so easily swayed toward a guy movie. :) It was, however, rated R but we had seen the previews and thought it looked like your typical thriller.

Not so. Oh, how do I say this.....this movie was horrendous from start to finish. It was beyond boring and had no action, no plot, no morals, no redeeming qualities whatsoever....not even George. I don't think I've ever been so ticked off after leaving a movie theater. Ticked off that I spent money on this bad movie, ticked off that I had some woman's big boobs staring at me half of the time, and ticked off that my date night was ruined.

I have a verse sitting downstairs by my TV from Psalms 101 that says "I will walk in my house with a blameless heart. I will set before my eyes no vile thing." This is to remind me to not watch some of the vile shows that can so easily suck me in. I'm apparently going to have to stick this verse in my purse as well.

I hate to be a movie spoiler but if you still want to see this movie here are some things you can expect:
*expect to be bored out of your mind
*expect to feel bad about your body afterwards
*expect to never want to watch another George Clooney movie
*expect to be left wondering "why make a movie with no point to it?"
*expect the worst because that's what you're going to get

No comments:

Site Meter