Loving and Losing

Miscarriage. Whenever I hear that word certain faces come to mind. My Aunt Patty, my cousin Sara, my Aunt Linda, my cousin Keri, my friend Jenae, my friend Amy and I could go on and on. These women have all had a miscarriage and some of them multiple times. But the most recent person I know to suffer one is my sister Amber. 

As I prayed for her and thought about what she must be going through, it occurred to me that miscarriage is kind of a private pain. Emotionally painful mostly for the woman who suffers it.  I'm not saying it's not hard for the husband, but their thought process probably just goes to fixing it..."don't worry we'll try again."  But for a woman, it's the death of dreams for a boy or girl, the death of imagining what they will be like and how they will play with your other children, the death of the miracle growing inside of your body.

Their bodies spontaneously aborted the baby.  Unlike a normal abortion, it was taken against their will.  Many of us look at abortion and see how devastating the emotional effects can be later on.  But, what about those who didn't want to abort their babies and it happened anyway?

Nearly thirty years later, my Aunt Linda can still tell you her due date.  Sara can still tell you her pain and worry.  Amber is "numb".  Miscarriage is something that I feel often gets brushed under the rug...after all, you can always have another child.  But, these women will never have that child again. That child is also one God created. 

"You are worthy, our Lord and God,

to receive glory and honor and power,

for you created all things,

and by your will they were created

and have their being."

Revelation 4:11 

God created these little beings - they were no accident. They had "their being".  They had a purpose. Why were they taken so soon from their mothers?  I don't know...we may never know.  But I know someday I will be able to meet my niece or nephew, cousins, friends that I never got to know here on earth. The Lord knows them.  For those who have miscarried, I hope you can find some comfort in that.  You are loved.

For Amber



I spent way too much time trying to figure out how to download this song to play on my blog...but I'm giving up...so here are the lyrics.  This is a beautiful song by Watermark about miscarriage:

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…


Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do


Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…


BRIDGE:
I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…