Whatever is True

So, as you know, I've been a little down in the dumps lately. I was really looking forward to my getaway to yes, getaway from it all. I think Nat was scared I was going to ruin our trip by crying the whole time. I may have let a few tears fall on our plane ride over there....and a few fellow passengers may have turned around in their seats to see what was going on.

Thank God for my friend though, she spoke truth to me and now I get it. She told me to focus on these verses.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. 

Philippians 4:8 

That's just it. My friend saw in me what I couldn't see. I was focusing, obsessing even, on things that were not true.  Only imagined.  Only blown up in my mind.  Blown up so huge they were crowding out whatever was true.  I took a few bothersome things that were said and done to me and let my thoughts run wild with self pity, words and actions of revenge, jealousy, and the list goes on.  Before I knew it, I was fully resentful and fully unaware of it. For the life of me, I couldn't pinpoint why I was so sad.  I knew it had to be more than the "winter blues" because this sadness was a soul sadness.  My thoughts had been taken captive without my knowing and they brought me to a dark place I'd never been before. 

Satan sure is crafty, isn't he?

It's going to take me a while to get out of the hole I've dug for myself but I do feel hope again.  Joy even.  I just wish I had seen it sooner before I became such a mess.  Now I am aware of the darkness and I am prepared for it. Instead of my thoughts revolving around self-pity and what smart-alecky thing I would say if the opportunity arose, I am trying to focus on what exactly is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.

I allowed Satan to get me into this mess but the Lord's gonna get me out.