Monday, January 3, 2011

"Know Me" ~ Meditation Mondays

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts, see if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24

Do you ever feel troubled and can't quite put a finger on why? I feel like this happens to me a lot. I find that often times it's the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention about something I thought, said, or did that wasn't honoring to God. (Sometimes I realize I just forgot to pay a bill or return a phone call, but most times this feeling involves repentance.)

Today I woke up feeling this way and I haven't quite figured out what's troubling my soul yet.  I always get a little scared because I wonder who I've offended and how many apologies I have to make.  So today I find myself praying the above Psalm. Well, it usually doesn't take long after praying and reflecting that the Lord reveals to me a wrong I need to make right.

I sometimes pray this prayer a little reluctantly because I just don't want to face a backlash for my behavior. Part of me also feels like if I don't ask the Lord to point out my sin He somehow won't be able to pinpoint it Himself. While I would much rather just try to ignore the feeling and hope it goes away, it will not go away today, so here goes:

Lord will you please:


Search me

Test me

See me

Lead me

and

KNOW ME

And please, may it just be a late bill today.

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