Crap My Mom Says

I recently read an article about a show on TV called $#*! My Dad Says.  It was apparently made after a kid started posting crazy things on twitter that his dad said to him.  I've never watched the show but I got to thinking, hmmmm....I have one of these people in my life.  My mom.  She definitely says enough crazy things for me to out her on them.  Our version is probably a little more PG than the show's, but here are just a few instances where mom has given her two cents on certain subjects...

On Infertility

"Oh, I don't know what that's like, I got pregnant every time your dad threw his pants at the end of the bed."


On Comfort

"That bed was harder than a brickbat!" (No idea what this means)


On the Weather

"It's hotter than a sow out there." 

"It's colder than a well-diggers gizzard today."


On People who do Stupid Things

"Well the poor, dumb soul!" or "He ain't much for brains."


On Certain Foods

"Oh, I can't eat that - it bloats me up like a toad."


After dropping something or hurting herself

"Oh, balls!"  (Yes, balls)


On looks

"Yikes, that baby could stop a clock!"

She's not as innocent as she looks :). 

(Had to pick a picture from Winter because it just makes me feel cooler looking at it.)

Love you Mom!

Please do share if you have someone in your life that says something crazy, I can't ever get enough of crazy :).

A Bad Attitude Day

Yesterday was one of those unpleasant days.  It didn't really start out that way but I got it in my head to tackle all of the crappy things on my to-do list.  The ones that I keep rolling over to the next to-do list and the next and so on.  By the time I finally decide to do them I have a bad attitude right out of the gate.

First horrendous job:  Calling my Internet company to see why my darn connection is so slow.

Been on the to-do list for months and here's why:

-it's never less than an hour on the phone, never
-I end up talking to someone in India and all I can understand is something about deleting cookies
-I have a really hard time being nice to this person
-kids screaming in the background
-being put on hold raises my blood pressure


Second job:  Ironing

I have a tried and true hatred for this chore. I let it pile up until I hear the words from my husband "Tam, I don't have anything to wear." (Which I heard yesterday.)  If the situation gets dire enough he will do it himself.  But it's one of those things that I kind of feel guilty about not doing.

While I'd love to give a good Christian answer and say that I pray for my husband while ironing his shirts, I actually end up doing the exact opposite - getting more and more ticked off at him with every shirt.  I tend to think about the precious nap time hours I'm wasting.  Why he has to wear stupid dress shirts anyway.  And that he really owes me....big time.

I think it's time to look into dry cleaning.


Third loathsome job: Ordering pictures online

Ordered over 400.  Another thing I've had on the to-do for quite some time.  I had a 50% coupon expiring so I made myself do it.  Upload time was excruciating.  Especially with my slow Internet.  Wanted to pull my hair out.  Wanted to yell at my girls that they better appreciate me making albums for them.  But, they were already in bed and had seen enough crabby mom for one day.

With my frustration through the roof yesterday, I was not that fun to be around believe it or not. Good thing I put off these days for as long as possible.

I'm feeling much more positive today because...

Here is my to-do list now:

Internet fixed when I get my new part in the mail
Ironing done
Didn't even say one mean thing to my husband about it
Pictures ordered, hallelujah praise the Lord

It seems a little wrong to post a verse after my bad attitude day, but today is a new day right?  And nothing is too hard for the Lord to handle...even my attitude.

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This week's verse:

Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm.  Nothing is too hard for you.
Jeremiah 32:17

Grass is Always Greener

A few weeks ago my friend sent me a blog article by Lysa TerKeurst of Proverbs 31 Ministries.  It was about jealousy and comparing yourself to other women and their accomplishments. I wanted to quote a few words from it since she puts it so well:

“Wow… look at her marriage. They seem to have it so together.”

“She eats whatever she wants and never gains an ounce. Must be nice.”

“Her outfits always look so snappy while I have a serious case of the frump.”

“I wish I had her job- her smarts- her income. Sigh.”

 Whenever I get an overly idyllic view of someone else’s circumstances, I often remind myself out loud, “I am not equipped to handle what they have—both good and bad.”

When I want the good things someone has, I must realize that I’m also asking for the bad that comes along with it. It’s always a package deal. And usually if I just give a situation enough time to unfold, I thank God I didn’t get someone else’s package.

I find myself often going down the road of comparison.  My comparison games usually go a little something like this:

~I wish I could write like her.  She just has a way with words.

~Look at all the fun and creative things she does with her kids. I wish I could parent like her. 

~Wouldn't it be nice if I were like her and could juggle more than one thing at a time?

~Her house looks so nice.  Wish I could decorate like her.

I love Lysa's line "I am not equipped to handle what they have - both good and bad." We so often look at other women's qualities and see only the good, not the struggles they go through.

I have a friend that I admire and would often compare myself to and end up short every time.  It seems like there is nothing she can't tackle or handle.  She is so full of Godly wisdom and that wisdom seems to make everything around her a success.  Her marriage, her parenting, her ministries, her businesses..... But she recently admitted her stress and fatigue over all the things she has going on in her life.  And, while I'm sorry for her, it was sort of a relief to find out she wasn't perfect after all.

God has equipped her with so much and there is no way I could ever handle that and make it out alive. But she can.  She'll make it through the fatigue and come out on top.  And that's the way God made her, not me.  He equipped me in different ways.  Ways that I need to recognize, nuture, and be thankful for. 

~Maybe I can't write like Beth Moore, but I can be thankful that I have a place to write about what God's teaching me.

~Maybe I can't do crafts and projects without losing it, but I can read to and play with my kids.

~Maybe I can't handle a lot at once, but I can do the best at what God has given me to handle. 

~Maybe I can't decorate like my sister, but I do know what I can do well....clean and keep a nice home.

 Making comparisons is just human nature.  The grass always seems greener on the other side.  But I think the Lord would probably say, "The grass can be green on your side too. You just have to water it." :)

Rapunzeled

For Rylie's 5th birthday party I broke down and had a friend party.  I thought I would wait a few years before starting this but she begged to have friends over and I figured "why not?"  Not until after I got carried away inviting every friend she knew, did my sister-in-law say, "didn't you know about the friend rule? Their age is the amount of friends they can invite." No, I didn't know that.  Good rule.  I invited twice the amount of her age.

I find it very hard to find a cut off point, anyone else?  I hate the thought of leaving anyone out.  (Even though I could've still invited more.)  So we had a large amount of Rapunzel's running around.  And it actually went surprisingly well. 

We decorated Rapunzel braids with flowers and hair clips for a craft. 
Everyone was so pumped to play that they weren't all that into it. But they turned out pretty cute anyway!

After crafts we headed outside to play some water games. We went through about 200 water balloons in 5 minutes :).  It was fun to watch since no one can hit anybody at this age unless they are about 2 feet away.

We were all contained in the backyard so that made it pretty easy on me to have a large group.  And thank God my husband and friend Angela were there with helping hands.

There were 2 other pools by the way....

Eric forbid me to make a cake this time (the last one I attempted took me about 10 visits to Chiropractor to get over).  Let's just put it this way...the best $18 I ever spent.

And thanks to Angela for lending us the fondant Rapunzel that her sister made...very impressive :).

I love the gift giving part.  It's so fun to see the girls get as excited about giving gifts as receiving them! 

But my favorite part was all the "I love you's" and "thank you's" from Rylie for throwing her a friend party.  It was well worth it :).



Happy Birthday to my Big Girl!!

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This Week's Verse:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8-9

Ahhh...Family

The last few weeks have been a time of a thousand emotions for me.  Something about being around family brings so many more emotions to the surface, am I right? Even though they are mostly good and rich, I just sort of feel drained by the end of it.  There's just so much energy going on, and maybe that's just because of how large my family really is.  With three sisters and a brother and every one's families, we tend to bring a lot to the table. 
 
My dad took all the guys in the family on a week long fishing trip to Canada so the girls got to stay home in South Dakota and what else? Take care of the kids. (Not any bitterness at all going on here.)

 So while Eric was doing this:

We were doing this:

Something makes me feel as though we've done this before....oh ya, darn near everyday for the last few months! Well, despite being left out of the fun, we girls managed to have a pretty good time.  It's always fun to get a little girl time at home, although we are pushing for a girl's getaway next year.

Being home for that long was actually a blessing because I got to be with Grandma while she went through breast cancer treatments. Even though breast cancer is pretty common and my Grandma will turn 80 this year, nothing can prepare you for that news.  I don't care what the situation, breast cancer just flat out sucks.  And seeing my grandma in that situation completely threw me. 

She asked one of us girls to change her bandages twice a day and I thought I could handle it but turns out I'm a total wuss.  After a few minutes of watching a nurse do it I had to literally sit down with my head between my knees!  That expression about "seeing stars" is totally true.

Thank God for Chelsa, my brother Dan's fiance, she's an aspiring nurse and was so kind and gentle with Grandma as she picked up my slack.  I love those moments in life when someone just wins you over with their spirit.  I think I fell just as much in love with Chelsa last week as Dan did over the past few years :).

So, all in all, being home was an awesome time. Even after all the emotions (take your pick...bitterness, joy, sorrow, disappointment, fear, love) a family brings, there's just no one who loves you, roots for you, and understands you like they do. And just maybe...I contribute to that mess of emotions just as much as everyone else.  I'm willing to toy with the idea.

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This week's verse:

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. 

Matthew 5:44

We're on the Same Team!

It's our 10 year anniversary today.  Can't believe it's been 10 years!  I love this stage of marriage.  I'm sure we will face a lot more obstacles if the Lord gives us another 10, but I really feel like we've reached an awesome place. I mean, besides occasionally hitting my husband over the head with a pillow when a kid wakes up in the night, we're pretty on the same page.

We've weathered the storms of figuring each other out in the first few years of marriage. We've gone through the insomnia, uncertainty and pure stress of having children. We've lived on loans and love.
And, I feel like we've moved into this state of being comfortable with each other, completely understanding one another and having an unconditional love that can only come with time. 

I was recently at my soon-to-be-cousin's bridal shower and we had to write down some marriage advice for her.  You'd think after 10 years of marriage I would have all sorts of advice, but I really hate this kind of thing. I always feel like "who am I to give advice? Wasn't it just a few days ago that I told my husband I was going to kill someone in our family if I didn't get some time to myself?"  But, I put on an "I've got it all figured out" face and participated anyway.  So, after 10 years of marriage, this is what I put:

Just Remember:

You're on the Same Team

Besides all the cliches (you know, "pray together, stay together" etc.), it was literally all I could come up with.  In our first few years of marriage (okay, it may occasionally still happen) I would suggest - yell is a strong word - to Eric things that he needed to help me with or point out things he did that bothered me.  And he would always "suggest" back, "Tam, just relax! We're on the same team!"  Leave it to a man to throw in a sports analogy...but it always made me stop and re-evaluate how I approached him about things. 

As much as I hated to admit it, he did have a point. Whenever I'm watching basketball and two guys go for the same rebound I always yell, "same team, you idiots!"  It seems so obvious to everyone but the people involved. Why do I war against the person that's working toward the same goal as me?  The ultimate goal of mirroring our marriage to look exactly like our relationship with Christ.

Now I'm kind of imagining God yelling, "Same team, you idiots!" to married couples who can't see eye to eye. So I need to stop writing before I go down that road :).

Here's to my teammate in this life. 

Happy Anniversary! 

Thanks for picking me first.

Optimism

Humidity can be a beautiful thing....



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This week's verse:

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.  The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.
Habakkuk 3:18-19