Just for Me

I recently attended a spiritual growth workshop that was excellent. Although something weird happened that took me a while to put my finger on.

As a group we practiced Lectio Divina which, in short, is a slow reading of a few verses.  While reading the verses, you're looking/praying for what God has for you in them, what words or phrases jump out and why has He called that to your attention. Every time I've done this it's been profound for me. 

After we were finished with that exercise, the speaker asked us if we were willing to share what God brought forth out of those verses for us individually.  As we went around the room, it was amazing to me that out of 20 or so people, not one of us had the same answer. Every one of us had a different experience with God while only studying a few verses. 

But, here's the weird thing, while we were sharing, one man just simply said, "that was just for me and what I got was just for me." 

My first thoughts were, "good grief, don't make it weird, just share...whatever it is that you learned could be beneficial to the rest of us too."  Then I thought, "hmmm....maybe that's super mature of him, now I feel stupid for sharing so freely." I then panicked a bit, "he must think the rest of us are idiots for being so willing to share our sacred moments with God!" 

Well, whatever the reason for him not sharing, it just bothered me and I could not stop thinking about it.

We live in this world of social media now where we don't even hesitate before we share.  We press a button and hundreds of people know if we're mad, happy, or indifferent. We want everyone to see our baby's first smile, our fabulous batch of cookies, our anger toward politicians, verses and blogs that were speaking to us....people must know our every happening and our every accomplishment. Though much of it is superficial, we flow toward this need for people to know what's going on in our lives at all times.  I am not unaffected by this (the irony is not lost on me that I'm writing a blog about not sharing). 

Sometimes as I'm reading the Bible I wonder who would have written autobiographies if they lived in this day and age...or who would be trending.  Definitely the guy who got his ear cut off by Peter and was immediately healed by Jesus.  Would Moses? He's wasn't eloquent in speech, but could probably express himself better if he was writing things down (ahem...some of us can identify). Perhaps Judas too...he would have been posting those "I can't take this anymore!" messages on Facebook that require further probing from his "friends."

Don't get me wrong, I have been greatly benefited by others sharing their spiritual ups and downs and, in general, sharing life's ups and downs.  I have experienced tremendous growth because of it. Just as Proverbs says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."  We're also repeatedly told to declare God's glory.

But could some experiences in life be meant just for us? For our pleasure, for our mourning, or for our growth?

Several times in the Bible, Jesus healed people and then told them not to tell anyone. Why? Couldn't his kingdom only be benefited by sharing the amazing miracles of Christ? Well, inevitably the people always do tell and then Jesus has to flee the premises. Someone could probably write an entire book on the reasons...probably having to do with not drawing attention to the miracle, but to the man or something along those lines.  But for me it sort of begs the question, "why do we have this incessant need to tell others what's happening to us? And is it always a good thing?"

So in this day of free-for-all information, sitting in a workshop listening to someone decide not to share was almost shocking to me. And after reflecting on it, I've decided it was refreshing. It was like a cool breeze in the heat of summer....rare.

At the very least, it has prompted me to think about what God would have me share with others and what's just for me. That date we went on.....maybe that's for just me and my husband to savor....That precious snapshot of my 2 year old.....that delicious batch of cookies.....Those verses I read in the quietness of morning.....that workshop I went to.....;)