Fourth Child

Over a fabulous piece of my mother-in-law's peach pie with a side of ice cream, my husband and I had a great conversation (at least from my perspective).


He began by saying:

So, do you care if I go to that conference?

I guess you can go.

(Laughing).  Do you ever feel like I'm your 4th child?

THANK YOU SO MUCH for saying that!  You don't know how liberated I feel right now.  I feel wonderful, free, understood!

No, no, no. What I meant to say was, do you ever feel like you treat me like I'm your 4th child?

(ignoring him)...I've been waiting for you to say that for hmmmm...11 years now...what made you finally come to this realization??

Tam, seriously, you're annoying.

So you finally see what I have to go through, put up with, pick up after.  You have no idea how great I feel right now!

Annoyed Silence. 

And he gives up trying to get his point across because naturally I keep going on and on as if I didn't hear his intentional statement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An hour later:

Oh shoot.  I left the ice cream out.  It's totally melted.  What should I do?

Just throw it away.

(We both burst into hysterical laughter.  Well, mine was hysterical, his was more of a resigned chuckle.)

The Big Leagues

I've decided that having your child go to school is a lot like actually giving birth to your first child.  Everyone can give you advice and prepare you mentally but until it's actually here you are oblivious. Nothing quite prepares you for that first day that they're with teachers and classmates more than they are with you. 

Talk about anxiety...

Half day Kindergarten was a walk in the park, but 1st Grade?  We are in the Big Leagues now.


Who knew that girl clicks started this early?

I hope she's not participating...

And who would've thought my outgoing girl would miss me so much?

Lord, please help her have fun!

Why are sight words so dang hard to memorize?

Yes, an A and a T spell AT....AT....AT!!!!  Get it already!

Is it me, or is there only 10 minutes from the time they get home to the time they go to bed?

Sheesh, it's 8 o'clock and we haven't taken a bath, gone over sight words, or read books yet!  I'm such a failure! 

All these things and a thousand more rush through my head all day.  And if I could sum up what I'm feeling most of the time, here's a word for ya...

Helpless.

This is good for me though.  It's brought me to a new place, a place where all you can do is pray.  So prayer is my constant companion these days.  I think when she was home with me all day, I felt more in control so it lessened my desire to pray for her. 

It made me realize that feeling out of control is essential to letting the Lord have control.  Placing your child (or anything) in the Lord's hands?  Not an easy thing to do...especially for a control freak.

I cried even.  Called my sister in desperation.  Brooded.  Sulked.  Contemplated home school.  My last resort?  Prayer.  Then I asked a couple other people to pray.  Then things began to change....huh.


The next day...

Mom, I made a friend today!  It's a good thing you prayed!

The day after that...

My anxiety, gone.

The day after that...

AT...you got it!  Now, how are we going to remember THIS?

The day after that...

I love school mom.


Ahhhhh....peace.  Peace that transcends all understanding.

 

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7