Fourth Child

Over a fabulous piece of my mother-in-law's peach pie with a side of ice cream, my husband and I had a great conversation (at least from my perspective).


He began by saying:

So, do you care if I go to that conference?

I guess you can go.

(Laughing).  Do you ever feel like I'm your 4th child?

THANK YOU SO MUCH for saying that!  You don't know how liberated I feel right now.  I feel wonderful, free, understood!

No, no, no. What I meant to say was, do you ever feel like you treat me like I'm your 4th child?

(ignoring him)...I've been waiting for you to say that for hmmmm...11 years now...what made you finally come to this realization??

Tam, seriously, you're annoying.

So you finally see what I have to go through, put up with, pick up after.  You have no idea how great I feel right now!

Annoyed Silence. 

And he gives up trying to get his point across because naturally I keep going on and on as if I didn't hear his intentional statement.

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An hour later:

Oh shoot.  I left the ice cream out.  It's totally melted.  What should I do?

Just throw it away.

(We both burst into hysterical laughter.  Well, mine was hysterical, his was more of a resigned chuckle.)

Promises, Promises

Eric and I have made a lot of promises to each other over the last 10 years of marriage.  We started with a beautiful poetic kind of promise - "I promise to love you until death do us part," but our promises have kind of morphed into desperation pleas to one another.

Year One

Me: "Just promise me we will someday get out of this cockroach-infested dump of an apartment."

Year Two

Him: "Promise me you are going to ask your bosses for a raise, we're never going to make it on your salary with me in school full time."

Year Three

Me:  "Can you promise to save me a seat at the KU game? I have to work late."

Year Four

Him:  "Will you promise to pray that I'll pass my Pharmacy boards?"

Year Five

Me: "Promise me that you will still love me if I don't lose this baby weight."

Year Six

Him:  "You better promise to love me even if I run this business into the ground."

Year Seven

Me: "I have something to tell you but you have to promise to be excited.....I'm pregnant again."

Year Eight

Him: "Do not say 'yes' to another commitment...promise?"

Year Nine

Me:  "Promise not to call me crazy, but I think I want another baby."

Year Ten

(I just have to chuckle because after the third addition to our family, we've kind of resorted to this pathetic begging.)

Now whenever one of us leaves the house we most usually say....

"Whatever you do, just promise me you're coming back."



Fightin' the Frump

I think after you have a baby is possibly the worst body image time in a woman's life.  You just sort of feel frumpy, unattractive, and just blah. I mean, let's face it, wearing maternity clothes when you're not pregnant anymore is never fun. To make matters worse, I was watching TV one night and there she was....Heidi Klum.  They were showing footage of her walking down the Victoria's Secret runway just 2 months after she gave birth.

Sickening - that's a good word for that.

Pretty sure the word "frump" doesn't exist in Heidi Klum's dictionary and I kind of doubt she and Seal had any conversations like this....

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"Oh, I see you've broken out the sweat sheets, ha ha..." Eric said to me after I changed the sheets on the bed. 

I had to 86 the flannel sheets in exchange for some light weight sheets because I sweat like a banshee at night right now.  I sleep on a beach towel and go through about 2 shirts a night and still have to wash my "sweat sheets" everyday.

Eric reached over and touched my arm the other night and then said, "ack, I can actually feel the steam rising from you."  Mmmmm....sexy.

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Rylie wanted to wear some sweat pants to school the other day and Eric wouldn't let her.  She asked the inevitable "why?"

"They don't look nice...you don't see mommy wearing sweatpants everyday do you?" A quick glance in my direction. "Er, I mean to church, uh work...(fumble fumble).

Sweats are all I fit in right now.  Well, that and my maternity jeans. 

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"Hey babe, I think my tummy went down - I only look about 4 months pregnant today instead of 5...what do you think?"

"Just keep nursing, Tam."

What the heck is that? We all know what avoiding the questions means. If there ever is a time to lie to me, it's now.  And that's what I told him.

So this was my comment yesterday.

"Hey, your stomach is looking good!"

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:).  I'll take it.

Just Between Us

I guess you could say that I'm one of the lucky ones.  My husband's love language is gift giving.  Not only does he love giving me gifts, he's pretty stinkin' good at it.  And turns out, I love getting gifts - so everyone wins!

In our 14 years together he's only had a few missteps.  For example, one Sunday his grandma showed up to church with the same necklace on that he had just bought for me.  I wasn't sure he would notice but the minute she left the room he said, "okay, sorry I got you the same necklace as grandma, I blew it on that one." And we laughed, a lot.

But that's definitely the exception because he normally does an awesome job. He plots and plans for months on gifts.  And I usually get one or two before the actual event because he "just can't wait" to give them to me. 

He's pretty creative too...

He has said "pack your bags, we're going on a trip tomorrow."
He has gotten me a babysitter for the day because I needed some time for myself.
He has...

done scavenger hunts
brought flowers just because
given massages, pedi's, mani's
held surprise parties
made me cake balls (because he read they were what every mom was getting for Mother's Day)
surprised with happy hour Sonic drinks
gotten me a house cleaning
given me employee bonuses for watering and weeding the flowers at his workplace (which is more of a joke because the flowers are always half dead and weedy)
had my windows washed
etc, etc, etc


After I get a gift my friends usually roll their eyes and say, "what'd he do this time? Take you up in a hot air balloon?"

To which I reply, "tried, but it was too windy."

He just is always thinking about what he can do for me or get for me next.  And frankly I don't deserve that kind of treatment...but I love every minute of it.  It does occasionally make me feel guilty though, because I'm fresh out of ideas when it comes to gifts for him.  I'm always saying, "let's just not do presents this time."  But he does it anyway and then I look like the jerk.  He just can't help himself, so I guess I must allow it to go on.

So last week, he gave me one of my most favorite gifts of all time (no occasion, just because).  And he said, "don't tell anybody, I'll totally lose my street cred."  So, if you could, let's just keep this between us.

I present to you.....The Love Book

These are just a few of my favorite pages out of the 75(!) in the book.



                                                                                                          

I told him I needed to share it on my blog as a Christmas present idea for others.  The last thing I want to happen is for my husband to lose his street cred! So...here's the link everyone.

Look what you can do for Christmas for someone special!  :)

He's just so worth my bragging on him a little...

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This Week's Verse:

"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever - the Spirit of Truth.  The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him.  But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.

John 14:15-17

My Idea of Romance

After 10 years of marriage this is what melts my heart.

Not flowers

Not beach vacations

Not expensive gifts

But folded underwear in the right piles.

Austyn wears Elmo's and Dora's.

Rylie wears princess and fairies.

Not only does my husband help me fold laundry,

He knows who wears what - down to the last detail.

Ahhhh...romance in it's finest form.

What's your idea of romance?

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This Week's Verse:

Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The LORD is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Isaiah 40:28-29

What an awesome God we have!

A Trip of Firsts

Being a small town Kansas girl, my Caribbean trip allowed me to see and do a few things for the very first time.  That's the beauty of vacationing right?  For instance...

Have you ever been to a nude beach?

I can now say that I have.

Welcome to St. Maarten.

I can assure you there were no butts this high or firm on the beach.

So, no camera's were allowed but I couldn't help myself.  The immaturity still runs deep, however, props for me because I didn't start to giggle until I returned to my beach chair.

A couple questions still linger in my mind after this experience.

Do you really need a tan there? Really?

Should nude beaches have a
 "One Must Actually Look Good Nude"
requirement?

Half of the island of St. Maarten was French, hence the no-shame attitude.  Not only were there public nude beaches but also public restrooms shared by both men and women.  It is a little unsettling to see a guy standing at a urinal when you walk in the bathroom...

Welcome to the beautiful Antigua rain forest. 

We ziplined here.

Easily one of the coolest experiences of my life.

Besides the fact that I almost passed out. I think I was pushing my little baby to the limit!

Have you ever kayaked in the Ocean?
Thank the Lord we didn't tip over.

They don't call them "divorce boats" for nothing.

In St. Croix

Here we are snorkeling with the sea turtles in Barbados.

We didn't see any turtles though. 

We apparently weren't fast enough or ever in the right place at the right time, figures.

And finally, our last "first" of the trip.

We said we were going to get tattoos for our 10th anniversary.

And we did.

Okay, so we chickened out. They're fake.  I would like to think we would be a tad more creative if we ever get the guts to take the plunge.  Maybe we're still afraid of what are parents would say....:)

We're on the Same Team!

It's our 10 year anniversary today.  Can't believe it's been 10 years!  I love this stage of marriage.  I'm sure we will face a lot more obstacles if the Lord gives us another 10, but I really feel like we've reached an awesome place. I mean, besides occasionally hitting my husband over the head with a pillow when a kid wakes up in the night, we're pretty on the same page.

We've weathered the storms of figuring each other out in the first few years of marriage. We've gone through the insomnia, uncertainty and pure stress of having children. We've lived on loans and love.
And, I feel like we've moved into this state of being comfortable with each other, completely understanding one another and having an unconditional love that can only come with time. 

I was recently at my soon-to-be-cousin's bridal shower and we had to write down some marriage advice for her.  You'd think after 10 years of marriage I would have all sorts of advice, but I really hate this kind of thing. I always feel like "who am I to give advice? Wasn't it just a few days ago that I told my husband I was going to kill someone in our family if I didn't get some time to myself?"  But, I put on an "I've got it all figured out" face and participated anyway.  So, after 10 years of marriage, this is what I put:

Just Remember:

You're on the Same Team

Besides all the cliches (you know, "pray together, stay together" etc.), it was literally all I could come up with.  In our first few years of marriage (okay, it may occasionally still happen) I would suggest - yell is a strong word - to Eric things that he needed to help me with or point out things he did that bothered me.  And he would always "suggest" back, "Tam, just relax! We're on the same team!"  Leave it to a man to throw in a sports analogy...but it always made me stop and re-evaluate how I approached him about things. 

As much as I hated to admit it, he did have a point. Whenever I'm watching basketball and two guys go for the same rebound I always yell, "same team, you idiots!"  It seems so obvious to everyone but the people involved. Why do I war against the person that's working toward the same goal as me?  The ultimate goal of mirroring our marriage to look exactly like our relationship with Christ.

Now I'm kind of imagining God yelling, "Same team, you idiots!" to married couples who can't see eye to eye. So I need to stop writing before I go down that road :).

Here's to my teammate in this life. 

Happy Anniversary! 

Thanks for picking me first.

Funny Thing About Weddings...

My favorite line in the movie Eat, Pray, Love is, "funny thing about weddings, you always end up thinking about yourself." 

(Don't waste your time watching the movie by the way.  Disappointing. Boring. Forgettable.)

Well, my beautiful cousin got married this past weekend and guess what?  So true. I thought about myself plenty.


Pre-wedding thoughts:

Should I wear the blue dress or go with my stand-by black one?

Big earrings or long necklace? (because I never do both at the same time)

Why can't the sun just shine? I am going to look pasty white in my dress.

Mid-wedding thoughts:

Wow, I wish I would have done my hair differently at my wedding, Jamie's is gorgeous.  I practically had a beehive.

Those ribbons are so pretty, why did I decorate with so much tulle at my wedding? I guess, on the positive side, with all that netting there was no way mosquitoes were getting in the church. Ha, that was kind of funny maybe I'll try it out on someone later.

Hmmm...I like that song, wish that would've been out when I got married.

Can't believe it's been 10 years since my wedding!  I am so old!  I am in my thirties, wearing a blue dress with spaghetti straps (which I can tell my mom still disapproves of....totally should've went with the black one that covers my shoulders) and, to make matters worse, my hair is frizzy today.  Darn humidity...

Eric looked smokin' on our wedding day...I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, minus the tulle of course.

Post-wedding thoughts:

Ohhhh, look at all these gifts!  If only I could register again, I need some serving bowls.

She was right not to have an open mic at her reception...what was I thinking??

I need to find my dad and try out my mosquito joke on him, he's always up for a laugh...

What I wouldn't give to be on my honeymoon right now!

Despite all thoughts about myself at weddings, the hopeless romantic in me always thinks:  Is there anything more beautiful than a bride about to pledge herself forever to the man she loves?

Jamie, you were gorgeous.  Thanks for letting us be a part of your beautiful day. Looking forward to having Andy in the family!

I'm also very happy for you that the world didn't actually end on your wedding day.

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This week's verse:

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses.  We do not know what we ought to pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us, with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.
Romans 8:26-27

Mother's Day and Expectations

After some reflection on my Mother's Day I've come to the conclusion that I have set impossibly high standards for this day.  For some reason, I expect the world to stop and revolve around me for a day. 

Consider this my wake up call.  It doesn't.

At the end of the day yesterday, the house was still a mess, the laundry not put away, the dishes in the sink, and the plants needed watered. I kind of just wanted to cry.  Well, maybe smart off to someone and then cry.

These feelings I was having were ridiculous because I had already had a great day. My girls both told me how much they loved me and hand made me gifts and cards.  My husband cooked me breakfast and gave me a ring with the girls' birthstones in it. Wonderful....probably a heck of a lot more recognition than most moms get.  Right?  So why did I end the day feeling a little disappointed?

Expectations. Those darn things that plague you in every relationship you have.  The things that no person can ever live up to.

Thankfully these selfish feelings were pretty short lived.  My amazing friend  called last night and, among other things, asked how my Mother's Day was and I pathetically told her I was a little disappointed. After I hung up and sort of realized how awful I sounded, my "woe is me" attitude was quickly replaced with gratitude.

I get to be a mom.  I get to be celebrated on Mother's Day.

I can't expect my family to read my mind.
I can't expect 1 day to reflect an overwhelming appreciation for my daily tasks over the last 364 days.
I can't expect anyone to do my job the way I think it should be done.
I can't expect perfection.  (a particularly hard one for me)

Mess and all, the Lord has given me an awesome husband and two incredible children.  I don't need the girls to bow at my feet for bringing them into the world. I need to be thankful that I got to bring them into the world.

Thank you Lord for this lesson on expectations and being thankful for what you have given me.  I'm sorry I need so many lessons!

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This week's verse

Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done.  The things you planned for us no one can recount to you: were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.

Psalm 40:5

I Ain't As Good As I Once Was

Eric had some meetings in Lawrence this weekend so we decided to turn it into a family vacation and go to the Great Wolf Lodge.

Don't you just love how excited kids get to stay in a hotel? 

This picture makes me happy :).

We hit the ground running...

Story time at 8 pm every night

Pajama's and slippers encouraged! We loved it!

We got to meet Violet and Wiley the Wolves. Rylie was convinced that her and Wiley had the same name...we haven't quite mastered our "R's" yet.

The girls had to go to the arcade every time they had a different outfit on to see what it looked like under the black lights.

We had such a fun time on our little vacation. But, Eric and I decided that we are definitely not in our prime anymore. Here are a few things that came out of our mouths this weekend:

• We need to look into energy drinks.
• Wow, how many stairs up to the slides
• Hey girls, let's just float for a while.
• My ankles hurt.
• My legs are sore.
• Is it bed time yet?
• Hot tub anyone?

Oh, and here were some additional thoughts of mine:

• I need a tan
• I am running the stairs at the football field the minute we get back.
• I need a tan
• Why? For the love of God do I not own a swim skirt?
• I need a tan
• Hope no one gets behind me when I climb the stairs to the slide.
• I need a tan

Gotta love swimsuit season!  I knew there had to be something positive about winter....

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This week's verse

(Love this one!)

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 6:12-13

Formalities

While reading a magazine, I came across a book review for this book the other day...

I haven't actually read the book but the title and the review sum it up pretty well I imagine.  With more and more women joining and becoming powerful in the workforce, men have become less depended upon. This has kind of left them floundering in a way and, not having to "man up" and provide, they are staying "boys" longer. This does kind of make sense...

So, merely hours after reading this review, I got my cousin's wedding invitation in the mail.  I decided to go ahead and RSVP because I knew if I didn't soon it would probably get lost. So here's how I RSVP'd...


M  r. and Mrs. Tami Driggers

Number of attending____4___

Regrets_________________


Oops....coincidence?

I told Eric how I responded and he just laughed and said, "that doesn't surprise me." 

Consider this reassurance to my husband...I do need you and appreciate you manning up for me, I just don't understand formalities.

Mother-induced Sensitivity

It's amazing how hypersensitive I've become to sounds and disturbances now that I've become a mother. I swear, every woman acquires senses and hearing a dog would covet when they become a mom. While this is true for all times of the day, it's especially noticeable during sleeping time.  

For instance, you're sitting there enjoying naptime when the UPS man rings the doorbell.  Your blood pressures raises, you hold your breath and pray the kids didn't hear it, and then you fight the urge to chase him out the door and scream at him like a crazy person.  Like, who in their right mind would ring the doorbell at 2 pm?


Here are a few other things that I now find a little irritating:


~ Daylight Savings Time

~ Tornado Warning tests in the middle of the afternoon (aka naptime)

~ My husband stepping on the "squeaky" part of the floor in the morning

~ Birds chirping at 6 am

~ Power outages

~ Thunder storms


Feel free to add to my list my fellow Type A moms...

Distance and Sunglasses

One of Eric's college buddies used to say, "there are two things that make most women look good - distance and sunglasses."  I thought he was being an idiot at the time, but as I age I'm finding distance and sunglasses to be close friends of mine. I think one of the worst things about getting older is losing the ability to get a look *. (You know what I'm talking about girls.) To guys, I've become an aging, wrinkling hot-mess mom, not a potential date.

 *And don't say you don't know what I'm sayin' because if you are

a woman you've gotten a look or two.

My younger sister Becky has been living with me for the past month and if there's one thing I've found out, it's that she has not lost this ability by any means. She's....well....she's hot. Whenever we go out every guy practically gets whiplash when she walks by. Meanwhile I'm sitting there thinking..."what am I? Chopped liver? Give me something. A polite courtesy look. Anything. I'll take a 15 year old boy with acne."

But no, it's all about Beck. She is oblivious to this and I find it hilarious. Some guys are bold and will come right up to her and ask her out, but most just look at her longingly hoping to catch her eye.


see what I mean

As if I need one more thing to be insecure about. Thanks a lot Beck! :)

It's not that I want to be asked out by guys because, ultimately, I just care if I can turn my husband's head. I've been out of the game so long I wouldn't even know what to do if a guy approached me anyway. I would probably use one of Becky's lines because she's a pro at this..."I'm with someone" or "I've got this friend....she would be perfect for you." Actually, most likely I would laugh out loud and ask him if someone dared him to do it.

I think it just comes down to the aging thing. This is another sign of my youth slipping away. Until I get used to this shift from youth to this woman/mom person I've become, I'll just have to keep my shades close by.

Bachelor Denied

I have been watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette series since the very first show. Yes, I even watched Trista and Ryan's wedding. I guess what I love about it is the romance and the fairytale ending (yes, I do realize this is complete crap). Well, my love affair was forced to come to a screeching halt. This is the first season I am not watching the show.  Painful as it is, here's why....

After a show last season I was giving some attitude to Eric and he said, "why are you so cranky?"

"I don't know. I'm not," I lied. Knowing full well what had made me so cranky.  He was having a hard time measuring up to the bachelors on the show. I mean, what was I doing with a Pharmacist? I should be married to a professional baseball player like Roberto?  As a matter of fact, why did I marry a Caucasian, a Latino would've been much better. I need someone who can take me horseback riding on the beach and fly me in a helicopter overlooking the most beautiful landscapes! Someone who will punch another guy out for me one day and write songs about me the next.

I think you get my drift.

My sisters and I would all call each other after the show and chat about the idiots and the heartthrobs. Oh the drama! How I miss it! I called my sister Ann after one episode and she said at one point she looked over at her husband - who was dressed in red shorts, a purple cutoff shirt, and black dress socks - and became immediately angry. We had a good laugh over this but both decided it would be best for our marriages if we boycotted. So, boycotting I am....Is it pathetic that I miss it so much? 

So goodbye Bachelor, my frenemy, and in the words of the oh-so-quotable Lady Gaga:

~ "Don't call my name, don't call my name.....Roberto."

Happy Birthday "Sweetie"

Happy Birthday Eric! 

A big "I Love You" to the best husband, friend, and father out there.

Eric's parents brought over a box of his old college stuff as a "birthday present".  May I just say, (with a good dose of sarcasm) thank you so much! How long will it sit on my counter before I find a place for it :)?

However, it was a good trip down memory lane. There were a few gems in it including some old love letters from me. I asked my mother-in-law if she read any of them and she said "no, I wouldn't do that!" To which I replied "why not! I would have!"  To heck with people's privacy when you have such juicy literature in front of you.

But, after I opened a few of them up I was eternally grateful that she hadn't read them. One went directly into the fireplace after I read something about wanting to touch Eric's pecs. What was I thinking putting that in writing? Geez, use your head Tam.


In my defense, #2 was looking pretty good.


Here's one of the tamer ones...

Yes, that's my writing - not my 4 year old's. The keyboard is my friend.  And, "Sweetie?"  (Gag reflex) Who was this girl and what was she thinking?  Makes me wonder if 18 years old is still too young to date.

These letters were extremely painful to read mainly because I wish I could go back in time and slap myself across the face for all the dumb things I said.  I'm just glad we're still together because if those were in circulation somewhere I would die.

So here's to you Eric, for sticking by me through the "dumb" years.

Happy Birthday!

You Think You Know Someone...

You'd think after nearly 10 years of marriage I would know everything there is to know about my husband. You'd think there would be no more surprises.  You'd think I could anticipate his thoughts.  His actions. His feelings.

Well, you'd think wrong.

New York was an eye opening trip for me. Not only did I find out that my husband would rise to any challenge, he is also an undeniable fame whore.  I had no idea.  He will go to any lengths to see and be seen.  If you would have asked me before the trip I would have denied it.  But the tape doesn't lie.

There were 3 main occurrences that led me to these new found conclusions. First of all was, of course, our appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. We were 48th and 49th in the standby line and didn't think we had a chance of getting in. When they came out to tell us that we made it in, they picked certain people from the line and told us we would be dancing behind R. Kelly. What? First things that came to mind, "yay! we must still look young enough to get our groove on" and "oh, crap! we can't dance!"

Waiting, waiting and more waiting...

But so worth it - we made it!



Had to buy some t-shirts to commemorate our TV debut because "no pictures allowed" in the studio



Our debut can be seen here. (This is the only site I could find that didn't cut us off in the end, you will have to watch a couple commercials but fast forward until about 1 min from the end.) 

My husband's the one frantically waving behind R. Kelly....though the kiss is pretty sweet I must admit. I just wish I didn't look like I was denying him on national TV.

The second occurrence of my husband trying to catapult himself into the limelight came just a few hours later. The day after the show we went on a group tour of the NBC studios.  We got to see the SNL, Dr. Oz, and news sets. At one point in the tour they asked for volunteers to do a mock news cast.  Guess who's hand went up....yep.  He volunteered me for the desk job and himself to forecast the weather in front of our group. We got a DVD copy of it and I desperately tried to download it to the blog, but couldn't make it work.  It was that good. Think stuttering, mixing up east and west coasts, and flat out forgetting lines. It's a must see.



We got to see Kathy Lee and Hoda in action

The third occurrence surprised the heck out of me too. We were on the plane ride home feeling very jet legged and exhausted from all of our TV appearances.  I decided to throw down a dare.  We run our marriage on bets and dares.  I highly recommend this because, if nothing at all, it keeps life interesting. As I spotted the stewardess coming with the snack cart I dared him to ask her for "penis" instead of peanuts. (I do apologize to all you mature readers out there. I can't help myself, the word "penis" will always be funny). I never in a million years thought he had the guts.  But alas, we each got two bags of "penis" and we couldn't stop laughing the rest of the flight. I now have to make his favorite suppers for a week...he should've upped the ante - I would have done much more.

Did I mention that I wouldn't want to go on a trip without this guy?  And did I mention that we had the time of our lives?  And did I mention this is why I love him?  He keeps me guessing.

What I loved about Philly

Things I loved about Philadelphia:


#7 - Alone time

A lot of people asked me what I was going to do all day while Eric was in meetings. I basically said "oh, don't worry about me." Sit me in a dark corner all by myself in complete silence and I would be happy. I'm pretty good at entertaining myself these days.  I crave being alone.  I read a few books, did some shopping, hung out at Borders with books and my laptop, spent some time alone with my thoughts and the Lord praying about life....pure bliss.

#6 - A Renewed Romance

This was as close as I could come to a "romantic" picture...my husband wasn't so cooperative taking pictures

#5 - The opportunities

The minute to win it auditions were in our hotel!  I was so excited but by the time we got a chance to go the room was totally cleared out...not even one person to beg for an audition.  No 15 minutes of fame this time.

#4 - The Shopping



H & M is my favorite store to shop while in the big city

Bought a pair of painted on skinny jeans...never say never.
More on fashion in Philly later...


#3 - The History

Took a walking tour around the city - love the outfits!


Couldn't help but think my dad would have totally loved to do this! We got to see where the Declaration of Independence was signed and where Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and Betsy Ross lived. And lots of cool things in between that my inner nerd enjoyed! 

#2 - Bruce Jenner

We got to hear a motivational speech by Bruce Jenner as part of the conference.  After he won the decathlon in the 1976 Olympics, he became known as the world's greatest athlete. I have to admit I didn't know who he was until a couple of years ago when I was watching Keeping up with the Kardashians at home and my dad walked by and said "hey that's Bruce Jenner!" I was a little skeptical coming in because when it came to Bruce all I had to go off of was Keeping up with the Kardashians. In what I've seen of that show, he is steamrolled - to say the least - by his wife and daughters, kind of leaving him as this fragment of a man. A man who is given no respect and is left out of major family decisions. 

But from the moment he opened his mouth I was captivated. He gave an account of his track career leading up to the Olympics and used this quote as the basis for his entire speech:

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." 
~ Theodore Roosevelt 

His work ethic and sheer determination to succeed was mind blowing. I found myself wondering if his wife and daughters have ever heard him speak. I'd venture to say that there wasn't 1 person in the room full of 500 that didn't leave that place feeling the utmost respect for Bruce Jenner and what he's accomplished in his life.

We were supposed to apply this determination to the business of Pharmacy :).


#1 - Why....the Philly cheese steak of course!

This was the place to go to get the best Philly cheese steak ever.  We waited in line an hour but it was oh so worth it. One of my sister's friends used to live in Philadelphia and he said to say "wit" when we went in to Jim's. When I questioned what exactly "wit" meant. He said they are going to ask if you want your Philly "wit or witout" cheez whiz so be sure to say "wit."  I said "wit"..... and now you know the secret to the best Philly cheese steak in town!

To Feel Loved

I was chatting with my neighbor yesterday and she was talking about making bierocks for her husband. For those of you who don't know what bierocks are - it's a german/mennonite thing. I don't understand the intense love for these hamburger and cabbage filled rolls around here, and she doesn't necessarily love them either, but her husband does. So she told me she makes them because "he feels loved" when she does. I've heard her say this several times before - "I do... fill in the blank...because my husband feels loved when I do" - and think it's so cool.

Something about her verbalizing it makes me think "what can I do today to make my husband feel loved?". Then it makes me think what a great way to tell your kids why you're doing things..."I'm making bierocks because daddy loves it when I do". This may sound like a no-brainer to some people but I'm not a hugely verbal person so I need to get ideas of how to communicate from other people.


I cook meals my husband likes, keep the house in order because I know he likes it, pay the bills because he hates that job...but I rarely say to my kids or myself "I'm doing this because it makes Eric feel loved". Just saying it out loud or thinking it, would change your "work" into a deliberate act of service for someone you love.  These simple words could change your whole perspective and attitude about work and service.


But why is it so hard to deliberately do things for the people we love?  Why do we war against this?  Fear of not getting recognition?  Fear we won't be appreciated?  Fear it won't be reciprocated?  Fear.

I tried it out on Rylie today when she asked why I was making ribbon bridles for her horses. I said "because I love you and I want to help you out." Her response was an excited smile. This was good. We haven't had a whole lot to smile about lately....4 has been a hard age. The other day after I told her I loved her she said "except when I'm naughty." I assured her I love her at all times, but I find it hard to get across to her exactly what love means. So thanks, my neighbor, for giving me another way to communicate to my family that I love them!

The American....so American

When I was growing up I wasn't allowed to watch rated "R" movies. My sister and I were once caught watching Braveheart and spent the entire next day chopping musk thistles in the pasture. I'm sure this worked out well for my dad because he didn't have to do it himself. He was nice enough to hire a guy to help us though. We later found out he was fresh off a prison term for statutory rape. Clearly watching movies rated R is the worse offense.

Actually I still follow this rule fairly closely in my home today. Besides the occasional shoot 'em up thriller or Braveheart type movie (sorry dad) we don't watch many movies past the PG-13 rating. Garbage in garbage out, right? I recently refreshed my memory of exactly why we don't do this. Two words. The American.

Eric and I decided on a date night of dinner and a movie the other day. We probably have the typical guy/girl types of movies we like. He was in the mood for something with action and of course I always go for the romantic comedy. So I took one for the team the other night and we decided to see the supposedly action packed The American. George Clooney had absolutely nothing to do with me being so easily swayed toward a guy movie. :) It was, however, rated R but we had seen the previews and thought it looked like your typical thriller.

Not so. Oh, how do I say this.....this movie was horrendous from start to finish. It was beyond boring and had no action, no plot, no morals, no redeeming qualities whatsoever....not even George. I don't think I've ever been so ticked off after leaving a movie theater. Ticked off that I spent money on this bad movie, ticked off that I had some woman's big boobs staring at me half of the time, and ticked off that my date night was ruined.

I have a verse sitting downstairs by my TV from Psalms 101 that says "I will walk in my house with a blameless heart. I will set before my eyes no vile thing." This is to remind me to not watch some of the vile shows that can so easily suck me in. I'm apparently going to have to stick this verse in my purse as well.

I hate to be a movie spoiler but if you still want to see this movie here are some things you can expect:
*expect to be bored out of your mind
*expect to feel bad about your body afterwards
*expect to never want to watch another George Clooney movie
*expect to be left wondering "why make a movie with no point to it?"
*expect the worst because that's what you're going to get

Three Strikes

A salesman came to my door today and the cards were totally stacked against him. Usually, with me, these people play with a full hand. If you come to my house on a good day, I will buy whatever you're selling. Eric loathes this quality about me but I just can't say no to these people! I buy magazines, cookies, fruit....I actually spent over $100 on children's books from a traveling salesman last year. But, we won't talk about how that went over. I just can't figure out how you say no without being rude. When Eric's home he tells me to go to the other room and he'll get the door. Whatever.

So today, I had just gotten the girls down for a nap, cracked a Coke and opened a can of Pringles when I heard on knock on the door. You've got to be kidding...nobody messes with my naptime. Strike one.

He asks if he can come in and talk with me for a few minutes. I say let's sit outside because I have learned (you should be proud of me Babe) that you don't let these people inside...especially strange men. He proceeds to launch into a talk about how cancer is killing us off faster than anything else. I have no idea what he's selling at this point. I actually am praying for patience because I am really having trouble being nice to this man about ruining my free time. 15 minutes later I lose my patience, cut him off and say, "so what exactly are you selling?" Cancer insurance. Strike two.

I don't buy insurance...I buy cookies. I tell him that I can't make a decision like this without talking to my husband. This, of course, is my ticket out. Except he comes out with this whammy...."Oh so you're like other stay at home moms whose husbands make the decisions for them." Strike three.

"Excuse me? Actually we make the decisions together." I am beyond annoyed at this point. Now apparently I am a pathetic person who can't think for herself. He then asks when Eric will be home so he can discuss it with him.
He's coming back at 7:00.