Kids...a Gift from God? ~ Meditation Mondays

You've probably heard these verses from Psalm 127 in one form or another:

Sons are a heritage from the Lord,

children a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior

are sons born in one's youth.

Blessed is the man

whose quiver is full of them,

They will not be put to shame

when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

I admit, sometimes these verses set me on edge.  On bad days when I hear them I want to say "if children are a reward or gift does this mean it's returnable? Or maybe exchangeable? Something I could regift perhaps?"

My husband was reading a book and I asked him what came to mind when I said, "children are a gift from God?"  He looked up from his book, rolled his eyes, and said "don't ask me this week" and went back to reading.

Why does this gift come with such responsibility?  Why does it cause such anger and frustration at times? Aren't gifts supposed to be something I'll always like? This gift requires so much of me sometimes that I have nothing left to give anyone else.

Some days can feel hopeless, but when I look...really look, I can find the reward amidst the daily struggle. When I'm around my "gifts" so much they tend to blend into the woodwork. They become common, not significant to me. So today, instead of focusing on the mundane, I sought out the joy that my two precious gifts give me.  They bring me...

the gift of imagination - not mess

the gift of squeezable and kissable girliness - not "hold still!"

the gift of companionship - not "in the way"

the gift of comforting - not drama

the gift of creativity - not mess

the gift of nonsense - not "what are you two doing in here?"

The most significant thing my "gifts" have given me though is a deepened relationship with the Lord...for there is nothing on earth that brings me to my knees more than my children do. :)

Thank you Lord for the gifts given to me, may I always seek their significance.

A Reprieve

Oh, thank you Lord in heaven for the reprieve from the winter weather! I literally turn into Eeyore during the winter.  A few weeks into January after the excitement of Christmas is over, I find myself to be a Negative Nancy about everything.  I can not find the good in anything.  Everyone's sick with either the pukes or sinus infections so you can't even get out to see friends. A sadness sets in and stays until spring comes with a promise of sunny days.

I've heard it called Seasonal Depression but I'll say the "Winter Blues" since I think that does a disservice to people who struggle with depression year round. I have much sympathy for these people. I get the "winter blues" and the "baby blues" and months seem like years when you're in a funk.  I can't imagine continually struggling with "no hope" type of feelings.

So when there is even a hint of sunshine we are basking in it...

It's never too early to break out the Popsicles!

and laughing in it...

and swinging in it...

and playing in it...

and laying in it...

Some of us, though, are enjoying it a little too much...

A "Me" Day

I can't remember the last time I had a whole day to myself. A day at home without kids, a day off. I occasionally get some "me" time when I go get my hair done or go shopping but I never just stay at home. What did I used to do on my days off before I had kids?  I often find myself jealous of people without children because I miss those days off so much it makes me crazy sometimes.  Well, I've been down in the dumps lately because of the weather so I decided to take a "me" day darn it!

I scheduled daycare for my kids with only mild guilt after Austyn said, "mommy I no want you to go," and had one glorious day all to myself. Even battling a sinus infection wasn't getting in my way.  I had things to organize and clean - there's just something about loud music and no interruptions that gets me excited about menial tasks. So my morning was spent checking things off my list.

Then Eric came home for lunch and said, "I'm disappointed in you, sit your butt on the couch and enjoy your day." Ummmm....okay.  Don't have to tell me twice.  Then came a nap on the couch, some mindless web surfing, a Made marathon on MTV, and glorious time wasting.

Thank you to my husband who gave me permission not to be "on" every minute of every day.  This is why I keep him around, so I don't go completely crazy.

I'm thinking I might have to pencil in more days like this, so let's all dream together....what would you do with a "me" day?

Bachelor Denied

I have been watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette series since the very first show. Yes, I even watched Trista and Ryan's wedding. I guess what I love about it is the romance and the fairytale ending (yes, I do realize this is complete crap). Well, my love affair was forced to come to a screeching halt. This is the first season I am not watching the show.  Painful as it is, here's why....

After a show last season I was giving some attitude to Eric and he said, "why are you so cranky?"

"I don't know. I'm not," I lied. Knowing full well what had made me so cranky.  He was having a hard time measuring up to the bachelors on the show. I mean, what was I doing with a Pharmacist? I should be married to a professional baseball player like Roberto?  As a matter of fact, why did I marry a Caucasian, a Latino would've been much better. I need someone who can take me horseback riding on the beach and fly me in a helicopter overlooking the most beautiful landscapes! Someone who will punch another guy out for me one day and write songs about me the next.

I think you get my drift.

My sisters and I would all call each other after the show and chat about the idiots and the heartthrobs. Oh the drama! How I miss it! I called my sister Ann after one episode and she said at one point she looked over at her husband - who was dressed in red shorts, a purple cutoff shirt, and black dress socks - and became immediately angry. We had a good laugh over this but both decided it would be best for our marriages if we boycotted. So, boycotting I am....Is it pathetic that I miss it so much? 

So goodbye Bachelor, my frenemy, and in the words of the oh-so-quotable Lady Gaga:

~ "Don't call my name, don't call my name.....Roberto."

Happy Birthday "Sweetie"

Happy Birthday Eric! 

A big "I Love You" to the best husband, friend, and father out there.

Eric's parents brought over a box of his old college stuff as a "birthday present".  May I just say, (with a good dose of sarcasm) thank you so much! How long will it sit on my counter before I find a place for it :)?

However, it was a good trip down memory lane. There were a few gems in it including some old love letters from me. I asked my mother-in-law if she read any of them and she said "no, I wouldn't do that!" To which I replied "why not! I would have!"  To heck with people's privacy when you have such juicy literature in front of you.

But, after I opened a few of them up I was eternally grateful that she hadn't read them. One went directly into the fireplace after I read something about wanting to touch Eric's pecs. What was I thinking putting that in writing? Geez, use your head Tam.


In my defense, #2 was looking pretty good.


Here's one of the tamer ones...

Yes, that's my writing - not my 4 year old's. The keyboard is my friend.  And, "Sweetie?"  (Gag reflex) Who was this girl and what was she thinking?  Makes me wonder if 18 years old is still too young to date.

These letters were extremely painful to read mainly because I wish I could go back in time and slap myself across the face for all the dumb things I said.  I'm just glad we're still together because if those were in circulation somewhere I would die.

So here's to you Eric, for sticking by me through the "dumb" years.

Happy Birthday!