No More Choices!

I have found myself annoyed and often balking at the sheer self-centeredness of my children. After each episode of toy stealing or "me first" attitude I try to have a conversation with them that involves me telling them to not be so selfish.  I would even throw Bible verses in there to drive my point home. But, as you can imagine, this was having little or no affect.  So I got desperate and ordered a book...

I'm glad I did. 

Surprise, surprise...my husband and I are, in fact, fueling their selfishness not only by our own actions but by empowering their own selfish actions. 

I'm about half way through the book but my household has already done a 180 degree turn. And here's the main reason why:

**NO MORE CHOICES**

I learned that developmentally children need parents to make decisions for them for a long time. I came across this handy little chart on page 63.



Percentage of the Decisions Made by the Child

Age:                   Birth to 4     5 to 8     9 to 11    12 to 15        16-19

Percentage:           0%              20%         40%        50%            80%

My children have now lost all ability to make decisions in my house and it is WONDERFUL. 

~ No more fighting over who gets the purple bowl. Mom decides.

~ No more "my turn to choose!" which TV show to watch. Mom decides.

~ No more "I don't want yogurt for breakfast!" Mom decides.

~ No more "I want to wear this outfit not that one!" Mom decides.

~ No more "I want this or that." Praise the Lord in Heaven!...Mom decides.

This has cut down on at least 50% of fighting and whining in our house (there's still plenty to go around).  After adopting this "no decisions" method it has become really clear to me now that my kids wanted me to decide for them. They weren't able to make a decision on their own and it caused them to act out and become selfish when I asked for their opinion. 

The only crappy part is that I have a lot to work on about myself to show my kids how to put others first! So, I just thought I would share if you are having selfishness issues in your house too. I totally recommend this book (what I've read so far anyway..).