Your Responsibility

When Rylie was about 18 months I began to totally freak out about the responsibility of raising her to know and love the Lord. I had no idea where to even begin. I knew it was more than just going to church and putting her in programs, it was my responsibility first and foremost to do this...not someone else's. This was weighing so heavy on my heart that I finally called my mentor friend Mary K and asked if she could come over to talk about it.

I was pregnant with Austyn at the time so the moment Mary K came in the door I started sobbing like my life was about to end. (What is it about pregnancy that turns you into such an idiot?) I finally managed to choke out what was bothering me. I'm sure Mary K wanted to laugh at my spectacular display of emotions but thank God she didn't....I also have a little thing called pregnancy rage. I told her I didn't know how to teach my children about Jesus and it was totally stressing me out. Should I be reading Rylie Bible stories from dusk till dawn, doing devotions at a certain time, praying with her 5 times a day....what does teaching about the Lord look like in a home setting?

This is basically what she said. That I was "putting way to much pressure on myself to make it look a certain way." She said that their family, which is in the ministry, rarely sits down and does devotions together. And it's ok. The world is not going to end if you don't make it happen. It's the day to day love for the Lord that you show your kids. It's the conversations, the answers to questions, how you react to situations. In short, showing and telling them how you love the Lord.

Mary K definitely helped me calm down about regimented Bible time, but her answer presented a new problem. I wasn't used to using the Lord in casual conversation and didn't know how I would answer my children's questions when they came up. This is the point when I began to really buckle down and work on myself first, because I realized I couldn't teach my kids what I didn't know myself. I really plugged into the Bible and started memorizing scripture. Maybe a year later my sister Ann told me about a book "Don't Make me Count to Three" by Ginger Plowman. It goes over how to discipline and train your children using God's word. This book showed me how to incorporate the scripture with day to day life. Now, a few years later I feel like I have a few (definitely not all) answers for my girls and am so much more confident talking about and showing my love for the Lord. I am so thankful the Holy Spirit was putting the pressure on me then when my girls were still young.

I still really love the idea of doing something as a family though. I would love to hear some of the traditions you have with your family or that you grew up with. Do you read the Bible as a family, do devotions, have prayer time....when? What does teaching about the Lord look like in your house?

Hot Jesus

When I worked at the Christian bookstore I did a lot of work in the shipping and receiving area. Which means I unpacked all the new books, pictures, and gift items from the boxes and entered them into the computer. Well, when this bad boy came in I immediately dubbed him "Hot Jesus." I mean, just look at this picture. If this were hanging in your house would you tend to think holy thoughts? Didn't think so. My boss and I had a hay day with this. I would call him and tell him that "a Hot Jesus sold today!" He actually gave me this picture as a gift with the word "Hot" printed across the front to hang in my office. I never did hang it up lest my interviewee's think I had some deep seeded issues.


This still totally cracks me up. What actually made me think of it was when I was reading Isaiah 53 the other day. It's talking about what Jesus looked like when he was on earth, "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." Okay, the one thing I can definitely say from reading this passage is that Jesus was not hot.


Actually, I kinda had a hard time wrapping my mind around this for a while. The one perfect man who ever walked the face of this earth was not good looking at all. Does this make any sense? When I think of a perfect man, I admit the first thing I'm thinking is 6 pack abs. How has society so skewed my view of perfection that I can't even imagine Jesus really being perfect if he wasn't attractive physically?


I think it's safe to say that this is the Lord telling us that perfection has absolutely nothing to do with outward beauty. Hmmm....society and media tell us the exact opposite. Outward beauty is everything in this day and age. Beautiful people get better jobs, they sell us things on TV, they have more fun. They have no body fat, no wrinkles, no morals. They live a perfect life so it seems. I find myself buying into this lie a lot. If I just had her body or her clothes or her confidence my life would be so much easier.


As I continue to grow in this faith I am finding myself more attracted to those who strive for soul perfection though. People that love the Lord above all else just seem radiant to me. You see a different, more permanent joy on their faces. They are a different kind of beautiful. Many of us can probably picture a person like this that we know. A person you could care less what they look like on the outside because being near them is almost like you're getting nearer to God. You crave their presence hoping some of their wisdom will rub off on you. I want to be one of these people someday. I also wouldn't mind aging as well as Heather Locklear though....

Three Strikes

A salesman came to my door today and the cards were totally stacked against him. Usually, with me, these people play with a full hand. If you come to my house on a good day, I will buy whatever you're selling. Eric loathes this quality about me but I just can't say no to these people! I buy magazines, cookies, fruit....I actually spent over $100 on children's books from a traveling salesman last year. But, we won't talk about how that went over. I just can't figure out how you say no without being rude. When Eric's home he tells me to go to the other room and he'll get the door. Whatever.

So today, I had just gotten the girls down for a nap, cracked a Coke and opened a can of Pringles when I heard on knock on the door. You've got to be kidding...nobody messes with my naptime. Strike one.

He asks if he can come in and talk with me for a few minutes. I say let's sit outside because I have learned (you should be proud of me Babe) that you don't let these people inside...especially strange men. He proceeds to launch into a talk about how cancer is killing us off faster than anything else. I have no idea what he's selling at this point. I actually am praying for patience because I am really having trouble being nice to this man about ruining my free time. 15 minutes later I lose my patience, cut him off and say, "so what exactly are you selling?" Cancer insurance. Strike two.

I don't buy insurance...I buy cookies. I tell him that I can't make a decision like this without talking to my husband. This, of course, is my ticket out. Except he comes out with this whammy...."Oh so you're like other stay at home moms whose husbands make the decisions for them." Strike three.

"Excuse me? Actually we make the decisions together." I am beyond annoyed at this point. Now apparently I am a pathetic person who can't think for herself. He then asks when Eric will be home so he can discuss it with him.
He's coming back at 7:00.

These are the People

Every once in a while people come into your life and change it forever. These are the people who changed my life forever. Their names are Stephen and Mary K Humber. Stephen is our associate pastor and he and Mary K lead our Sunday School class. I'm not sure I've told these two what a significant role they've played in my growth with the Lord. So this is me doing that.

We started going to our church a few months after we moved here...been about 6 years ago I think. We felt the Lord calling us to this church, and felt like we immediately belonged. Eric and I probably went to church 6 months to a year before we started going to Sunday School class. We had been invited a lot but never felt like going because we didn't want to be uncomfortable. We tried a class, felt uncomfortable, so we never went back. Then Stephen invited Eric to go to Thailand with him and everything began to change. Eric felt honored to even be invited since we weren't even involved in any way with the church.

After that trip, we began to attend a young married class that Stephen and Mary K led. I had never met anyone quite like them. Totally passionate about the gospel but also very, very real. Up to that point I'd never met a pastor I could relate to. They all seemed head and shoulders above the me...living a life of perfection, having all the answers. I think this kept me from trying to learn more about the Lord because I felt like this "perfect," no sin kind of life felt unattainable for me. I'm sure if I would have gotten to know my pastors better I would have seen a different side of them.

Let's just say that Stephen and Mary K have no qualms about letting you know their struggles. They actually came to class one day totally ticked off at each other and not on speaking terms (we were studying love and respect in your marriage at the time). I love this! I'm sure it sucked for them but it sure taught me a lot. You can be totally in love with the Lord and simultaneously nasty to your spouse...who would've thought?

This living life wide open was a new concept for me and really appealed to me. These two meet people where they're at. I think many pastors forget what it's like to be at the very beginning of your spiritual walk so they can't identify with you. This class and time spent with these passionate people kick started my search for a deeper faith. A faith I didn't know existed. Their passion was contagious. I learned how to really study the Bible and listen for God's voice.....am still learning.

Stephen and Mary K often talk about wanting to be on the mission field. They don't understand why God has them in this town. Well, I know why. And if it's for me and only for me.....thank you. Thank you for showing me what a real life Christian looks like. Thank you for not judging. Thank you for loving and caring about those of us who are already saved but don't know how to live this faith out. Thank you for answering God's call.

The Popular Choice

I was reading John 19 this morning. I've heard the story of Jesus's Crucifixion a hundred times but I've probably only read it a few. It's amazing what you can pick up on by reading it. John 19 is mainly covering Pilate's decision to crucify Jesus.

I actually found myself sympathizing with Pilate today. I can almost see him - hands wringing, soul troubled, mind warring against this decision before him. Pilate knew Jesus was telling the truth...he was, in fact, the King of the Jews. He knew he was innocent, yet the pull of the people and his own life hanging in the balance was too much for him.


If Jesus had just said a few words to Pilate or performed a miracle, leaving no doubt about his Deity I think Pilate would have freed him. But Jesus kept silent. Only saying, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin." He let Pilate choose his own path. Much like he does with us today.


God allows us to make our own choices. For Pilate, the opinion of the crowd was more important than doing the right thing. He knew what was right, he even wrote - Jesus of Nazareth: King of the Jews - on the cross. But, in the end, he gave in to pressure, the popular decision...he gave the people what they wanted. Would I have done the same thing? Don't know. It just made me wonder how many times I've been in this situation. The Lord just sitting there waiting for me to make the right decision.

How many times have I done what Pilate did? Make the popular choice. Give in to anger toward my kids, give in to selfish desires, give in to what others want me to do. Every time I face a choice God could come down and blow a trumpet and say "Wow, are you really gonna say that to your husband?" (ok now I'm envisioning myself pushing him out of the way, smashing the trumpet and saying "Heck yes I'm gonna say it!") But God doesn't do this, he allows me to choose. He's definitely whispering in my ear though. Sometimes I wish He would come down and put me in my place, but I think His Word does a fine job for now.